Secure Immaturity

Alas, we come to the end of my six-column run here on Secure Immaturity. Thank you Wil and Brian for the opportunity to write something interesting under deadline. It has been both a fantastic exercise and a pleasure.

As threatened in earlier columns, today we shall discuss interactive fiction. And by “discuss”, I mean we’re going to actually do it. Interactive fiction is essentially participating in the process of telling a story rather than reading a finished one.

This is what is going to happen: I will set up a scene, then you, the person at the computer, will get to do something. I will write what happens next. Repeat. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.

Use the comments section to enter your “command”. I will interpret it and enter it into the narrative. Your comment will then vanish. I will provide the first command as an example. Comments will be processed in the order in which they are received.

The story begins today and will continue until 11:59 PM Central Time on March 31st.

Ready? Let’s go.

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MEDBAY

You must have dozed off. For a moment all is startling white, but then your eyes adjust, the glare of cold overhead panels and control banks shrinking to a manageable level. What had you been doing just now? Fuzzy. Had to get somewhere…hide… it’s gone. Thoughts about your purpose are de-prioritized by the immediacy of the body.

Human male, naked, lying peacefully on the operating table, bathed in pure light. Dead. A blood-stained polymer sheet is draped across his midsection. An array of surgical implements, also bloody, are strewn across a nearby tray. Obviously, the procedure did not go well.

A surgical laser on an articulated arm hangs above the operating table.

A single sliding door leads south.

> Examine the body

Upon closer examination, you realize that, despite the sheet and surgical implements, the blood did not come from the body. Not a mark on it.

> Think “it will be ok, it will be ok”

Your own thoughts feel hollow and uncertain. You’re not even sure what you should be feeling at this point. Nevertheless, you manage to affirm your presence of mind.

> exit through door

You approach the door, expecting it to slide open, but it only shudders in its frame, accompanied by an unpleasant whirring sound from somewhere in the wall. The door is broken.

> bust down door

Mustering all your strength, you punch the defunct door. You see a flexible metal tentacle bounce weakly off the surface with a clang. At the moment of impact, you remember that you are inside a robot body.

A yellow button lights up on a nearby control console and a harsh trilling sound emanates from a speaker.

> push yellow button

You hover over to the console and extend one of your tendrils to press the button. The button goes dim and the trilling stops, replaced by a man’s voice, commanding and stern.

“Dr. Lohsert, I need an update on Tanner. Is he going to make it?”

> run data scan

Please be more specific. Run a data scan on [what or who]? Run a [what kind of] data scan?

> run assessment data scan to evaluate risk of interacting with voice on console

The robot’s systems indicate there is a 0% health risk associated with the voice.

“Dr. Lohsert, are you there?” the man’s voice asks from the speaker.

> ask “who are you, why am i here”

Your voice is reedy and modulated, a synthesized voice engineered to know its place. For a moment there is silence from the speaker, but then the man speaks again.

“Doctor, if you can hear me, I’m sending some men down there. Hold tight. Morgan out.”

> get surgical laser

The laser is firmly affixed to the arm which is in turn attached to the ceiling.

> remember something you forgot

Your command is a conundrum which cannot be processed. Please re-state your command.

> run system restore on self to accommodate situational awareness

I only understood the first part of that. Please expand on “accommodate situational awareness”.

You are not a robot, so you cannot run programs on yourself. But you can run programs on the robot body.

> detach laser from arm

That would require specialized tools or a stronger body to accomplish.

> modify laser

How would you like to modify the laser?

You hear the sound of marching boot heels from the other side of the door.

> run system restore on robot body to glean any information on what has happened

You cannot specify what information, if any, a system restore may provide.

As the system restore initiates, the robot body hovers to the floor and begins the shutdown process.

All goes dark.

According to the robot’s internal time-keeper, eight minutes elapsed between the time you lost consciousness and now, when the robot came back online. The operating system is functioning normally, but it reports that it is still compromised by a virus of unknown type. The robot’s operating system recommends seeking professional maintenance from Glasgow, Harvey or Sterling, Milicent.

From where you are lying on the floor, you can see three pairs of military boots standing in the room. Three men have been talking, but the robot’s receptors only just now came back on line.

“Hey, it looks like the med-bot is waking up.”

> modify laser to cut self from robot body, adapt self and robot body to both be independently functional and program controls for robot

You do not possess the programming or technical skills to modify the laser. Besides, you sense that you need only decide to leave the robot body if you wish. No need for cutting.

The robot body can already exist independently of you. You sense the same is not true for yourself.

What would you like to program the robot to do?

“Maybe it can tell us what happened to the doc,” says a voice above you.

“And his clothes,” says another voice.

“Don’t be a jackass, Clemens,” cautions the original voice.

> say “wait, hello, what are you doing?”

“What are you yammering about?” says the first voice, which you assume belongs to the commander of the other two men. “Get up here where I can see you, med-bot.”

> stand up, walk to clemens and feign an incredibly intimidating look

As you do not have any legs, you can’t actually stand and walk. Instead, you hover up to eye level with the three soldiers in the room. These are hard-faced marines in fatigues and light combat armor. They each carry small energy rifles slung over their shoulders.

You don’t know which one is Clemens, so you hover over to the nearest soldier who steps back slightly, a puzzled look on his face. As your robot body has no anthropomorphic face, you are unable to give him an intimidating look, feigned or otherwise.

“Med-bot, give an account of the past fifteen minutes,” instructs the commander, a man to your left with a cleft chin and scar slashed across his face.

> say “i’ve been in shut down mode and require maintenance”

“Damn it,” says the commander. “We’ll just have to review the security feed. In the mean time, we have a problem.” He speaks into a communicator on his wrist. “Sir, Tanner’s gone and Lohsert’s dead.” He listens to a voice you cannot hear. “I don’t know, sir, it’s a possibility.”

While the commander is carrying on his conversation, one of the other soldiers says to you, “Go get yourself checked out.”

> seek maintenance with Glasgow, Harvey or Sterling, Milicent

You do not know the current whereabouts of Harvey Glasgow or Milicent Sterling.

> search robot GPS for harvey glasgow and milicent sterling

While the robot’s positioning system is good for determining your position within the ship, it is not equipped to locate all personnel. This strikes you as an inefficient design.

The commander turns to his men. “Okay, boys, we’ll be conducting a sweep for Tanner, spreading out from the science wing. We keep it discreet for as long as possible. Captain doesn’t want to worry the rest of the crew.”

> follow the commander. look, listen and learn

You are now following the commander. He leads the two soldiers through the south door into the corridor outside. The soldiers begin moving west.

“Where are you going?” one of the soldiers asks you. “Maintenance is the other way.”

You are in a white corridor running east to west. The door to the med bay is to the north.

You hear the faint thrumming of the ship’s various systems inside the walls and overhead.

What would you like to learn?

> learn identity of passengers and details of commander’s overall mission

How do you intend to do that?

> attempt to fix robot’s virus while hoping to locate Harvey Glasgow or Milicent Sterling in the search for tanner. explain this to the commander.

You do not detect any virus in the robot.

Hoping does not produce any results.

Please explicitly state what you wish to communicate to the commander.

> say “commander, i will accompany you on your search for tanner while also searching for Harvey Glasgow or Milicent Sterling, could you point out passengers’ names as we go? i can have the robot keep a log of who we run in to in the search”

All three of the soldiers stop and stare at you with incredulous looks on their faces.

“What the hell is going on here?” the commander asks. You’re not sure if he is addressing you or the universe.

“I’ve never heard a med-bot talk like that before,” one of the other soldiers remarks, eying you with suspicion.

“Med-bot, deactivate yourself immediately,” the commander says. He aims his rifle at you and the other soldiers follow suit.

> fly past the men, dodging any blasts from the energy rifles

While med-bots have fine motor skills, there is no need for them to move very rapidly, much less dodge energy blasts from trained soldiers.

You only make it a few feet before the blasts hit you. The robot body explodes around you, falling to pieces on the floor. The world around you is washed in the many colors of your sensory particles’ wide visual spectrum.

Without a body you will disperse and die within thirty seconds.

> astral project to maintenance and electronically manipulate an S.O.S.

Astral projection would require that you have a soul or spirit of some kind, which you do not. Also, you do not know where maintenance is. Also, you have no idea if the maintenance area is equipped to transmit a distress signal.

You have about 20 seconds left.

> take advantage of the space-time continuum shift and use your “30 seconds” wisely to acquire a new body

What space-time continuum shift?

It would be wise to acquire a new body. Where would you like to acquire it from?

You have 10 seconds left.

> call life flight for rescue

What is “life flight” and how would you call them?

YOU HAVE DIED
Without a new body, your particles drift apart into the air, dispersing, along with your memories of who and what you were.

The end.

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Well, that’s how it goes some times.

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