Secure Immaturity

I always approach Reese Witherspoon movies with wariness but not because she is a bad actress but because she reminds me, to the T, of an ex-girlfriend (minus the blonde hair). Needless to say I always feel a little awkward watching her and it makes my appreciation for the subject matter hard to swallow especially when she plays all peppy and cute. When she puts on that ‘act’, I tend to scream at the guy: ‘don’t believe her! She’ll just cheat on you and leave you for another guy!’ That’s when I turn the television off because the realms of fiction and reality are starting to blend together (though some might argue that having a girlfriend like Reese Witherspoon probably wasn’t a bad thing).

Anyways, Four Christmases decided to take about that long to come out on DVD and well, the wait was not exactly worth it. I really don’t have anything horrible to say about the movie but it’s bad when horrible Lea Thompson movies on ion are more interesting then mainstream ‘comedy’. Four Christmases has the misfortune of being a gimmick film (Christmas plus a ‘we-must-do-this-by-this-time’ plot line) that exists as instant gratification. . .the movie has no repeat value. . .even at Christmas time.

The plot goes as follows: Brad (Vince Vaughn) and Kate (my ex-girlf, er Reese Witherspoon) are an ‘adorable’ couple who don’t believe in marriage. . .or family. They’d rather live in their selfish child-less, ring-less worlds doing cutesy things like taking dance lessons with marriage hopefuls (and dashing their expectations) and having kinky role-play sexcapades in bars. These are lovely people who deserve our respect damn it! Anyways, they pretend, and it isn’t the first time, that they are going to a third-world country to help little children out for Christmas, when in reality they are going to Fiji to relax (from what? I dunno).

A nasty fog grounds all the planes in their hometown of San Francisco before our beloved heroes can leave and a local news crew catches them in the act of angrily fighting to get the plane to leave (because they are ‘cool’ people). Thus, the duo, caught red handed by both sets of their family (both Brad and Kate’s parents are split up), are forced to attend ‘four christmases’ and confront their own selfish deeds and their lack of family values.

It is not unusual to see Vince Vaughn play someone so ‘witty’ and heartless but to see Reese Witherspoon stoop to Old School-like levels of ‘comedy’ is very disappointing. It’s just off putting, also, to see her playing someone so morally bankrupt. I mean, Brad and Kate don’t kill people or anything but they are selfish, annoying people and that definitely goes against the grain of Reese’s resume of work. And while that would be pleasant if the film was some sort of dark comedy or thriller, this is a huffy-puffy romcom! How can an audience accept people so intellectually and morally vapid!

The comedic bits aren’t bad nor is the gimmick. But in keeping with the ‘instant gratification’ comedy, the film exists to show completely crazy aspects of family life in four separate, ‘unique’ ways. Brad’s dad (Robert Duvall) is an old fashioned, man-man whose other two sons Dallas (Tim McGraw) and Denver (Jon Favreau) like to beat people up for fun. Brad’s mom (Sissy Spacek) is an earthy-hippy type who happens to be dating Brad’s former best friend (Patrick Van Horn). Kate’s mom (Mary Steenburgen, whose still hot) and Kate’s sister (Kristen Chenoweth, whose also hot) are oppressively beautiful and judgemental for it. Kate’s dad (Jon Voight) is probably the only normal one and exists for the heart-felt moments of the picture.

Nothing in the last paragraph inspires gut-splitting laughter and neither does its translation on screen. Once over the initial shock of some of Denver/Dallas’ violence and Kate’s mom’s overt flirting, the film goes through the motions of putting Brad and Kate through embarrassing situation after another all while learning a valuable life lesson. Aw. It may be ‘cute’ but it ain’t fun.

I’m not saying every film has to have meaning or purpose (see: anything with Jason Statham) but I do expect a film to have entertaining qualities to it. Besides the occasional chuckle or two, I never got into the film and I certainly didn’t care about the characters who all appear tragically selfish and over-the-top. I can’t accept caring about people’s problems when they are so uninteresting and disgusting to begin with. Why do I care if they change and grow? That is probably the movie’s biggest mistake. . .taking no one seriously enough to be cared for.

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